Mean girls...

How do you know if its bullying or just girls being girls?

Maisie attended an after school dance today. It was odd to both me & Robert that they would have a "dance" for 3rd-5th graders, but we decided we would let her go. He was a little uncomfortable with it, but me being the mother that doesn't want her baby to feel left out on the first week of school convinced him it would be okay.

*note to self-listen to your husband *

The dance was supposed to end at 5:30. Well, at 4:15 I get a phone call from a crying 10 year old begging me to come pick her up. I begin to ask why and this is the response I get, "ALL the other girls are being mean to me, and I'm ready to come home." How do you respond to this?

I can remember being 10. My best friend always wanted to play with my older sister and her friends. I on the other hand wanted to pretend we worked at McDonald's and play drive thru. I couldn't for the life of me figure out why she didn't want to do what I wanted to do. I remember feeling hurt and jealous that my sister seemed to ADORE this girl but hate me. You know how the big sister-little sister thing goes.

So, I'm trying to imagine how Maisie is feeling as I go get her from the dreaded dance. She gets in the car, explodes into a teary story of how "this girl" wanted to play with her, but she's too bossy and Maisie didn't want to play with her, so "this girl" decides to push Maisie (is it true, I don't know because I wasn't there and kids tend to over dramatize the story-especially girls) and so Maisie then decides to tell the teacher then cry and then call me. Did you get all that?

What do I do now? My first instinct is to track down "this girl" and push her too. I'm pretty sure that would end up very badly. So, my next thought is to write a note to the teacher and principal explaining how very disgusted I am with their lack of supervision. But then I remember working in both a school and with the youth at church. It's impossible to see, hear, and witness every single thing that happens. (And I happen to know some letter writers who make me want to vomit in my mouth because they expect one person to be able to supervise 30 kids by themselves and can't even imagine why that is so hard to do! But I'll save that story for another post.)

My best thought was that I would sit down with Maisie and just talk to her about it. Find out how she feels about it. Ask her why she thought the other girls did such a thing. Tell her that she did the right thing in calling me and explaining to her that sometimes other people just make bad choices. She seemed to understand and dried up the tears.

Let's hope we don't have a mean girls situation on our hands.

Update

I have to be quick. My job as taxi driver begins in a few minutes.

I started working yesterday. I was not prepared to begin so soon, but was asked by the principal if I would just go ahead and work half days with my two morning time children this week. Of course my head was screaming "NO! You need a few more days of freedom, of rest, of YOU time". But, before my mind could relay it to my mouth I was saying, "Of course! No problem at all!".

So, I was up bright and early yesterday to begin my new role of working mother. My kids are great. The girl is in the 5th grade and speaks wonderful English. She needs me mostly to help her with staying on task.

Her brother is in 4 year old Kindergarten. He is faster than I am. Smarter than I could ever imagine and somewhat stubborn! I love being in his classroom with him and all of the other kids. One of the little girls asked me when I came in yesterday "Who's mama you is?" It was so cute. They are so much fun and I really do enjoy being there.

Maisie has done incredible at school. She is making friends and learning so much. I met with her teachers today and they all just praised her and her manners. They said the other kids love her. I'm so glad she is doing so well at school.

She also loves church. She started AWANA on Sunday night. She loved all of it. I'm so thankful for the people at our church who have been so kind to us. It has really made the transition easy!

So, now I must go. My parents are coming to visit tonight. I have to get the taxi running and home so I can start my next job of cleaning lady & homework helper.. Oh the life of a mother... and I wouldn't change it for anything!

Answered Prayer!

So, I've been praying about getting a job for a while now. We are paying for two houses, which is a stress, but God has provided! I was really hoping to get a job where I had the same hours as Maisie, but things were just not looking good. But God knew.. He always knows!

While I was registering Maisie for school Thursday, the superintendent asked me if I was working anywhere. I told her no and shared my experience with working at Upper. She told me that several of the schools were looking for tutors. Of course, I was interested! I filled out an application and got a phone call this morning!

The job is from 8 til 2:30 (perfect right?!). I'll be working with two students from South Africa in the morning. They both speak English, but they need a little help in the classroom to make sure they know what's going on. In the afternoon I will be tutoring students in Math. I'm so excited!

The principal was very friendly as well as all of the staff at the school! The plan right now is for me to start February 1st (which happens to be my 28th birthday!) I'm so excited about all of this and thankful for God's perfect plan!

Maisie had another great day at school! I talked to her Math teacher this afternoon. She said Maisie is a very good student and wants to learn as much as she can! She also said Maisie referred to me & Robert as "my mama & daddy". Made my heart smile! She calls us Mr. Robert & Mrs. April right now. Which is totally fine with us. We know she will call us mama & daddy when she is ready!

All in all, it's been a great week! So thankful!

SCHOOL!!!

Maisie made it to school today! She has three teachers who seem to be fantastic. She was a little shy at first because she HATES having people stare at her, but she went on inside and got busy! I don't know Maisie's real behavior, because obviously we are still new in the game. I hope that she feels comfortable at school and here!

She hopped in the car with a huge smile on her face! I was so relieved. Our sunday school teacher's wife, Lisa Pinkerton, met me at the car with her. She, along with our entire class, have been incredibly sweet to us. I'm so thankful for them!

Tonight, she and Robert worked on division. He is so patient. I didn't think I could love him any more than I already do, but I swear I do.

School???

Well, today was supposed to be Maisie's 1st day of school. We were told a few weeks ago that when we got ready to enroll her, we would need to bring all of our paperwork to the Superintendent's office and she would approve everything and send us to Parks Elementary School where Maisie would be attending. We got up this morning and got ready, headed to the school district office, talked to the super nice receptionist, and were informed that the Superintendent was out of the office today, could we come back tomorrow? S E R I O U S L Y! ?

So, we'll try again tomorrow. Pray for Maisie as she starts school. It's been a while since she's been in a regular school. I can't imagine how she feels, but she seems to be okay. She's very friendly, so I hope she'll make friends easily.

"I will not leave you as orphans, I will come to you"

Our girl is an orphan no more.

I've been a Christian for many years now. And truthfully, I've taken the lazy road when it comes to my relationship with the Lord. I know what God desires from me. He desires a daily relationship. He desires my heart. He desires my trust, my plans, my will, my control. He wants all of those things. He wants me to trust him, he wants me to forsake everything else for him. He wants me to love, forgive, serve, and seek him with everything I have.

Honestly, I've done none of those things very well. I've discovered that I've had a hard time forgiving, because I can't forgive myself. I don't mind serving, but I can assure you, I'm not a joyful server. I don't seek him, because I'm such a control freak, that I just assume I can "fix it" myself. Can you relate to that stupid notion??

I spent a lot of time thinking last week. I knew life was changing quickly for us, and I needed to really spend sometime praying, but more than anything, I needed to spend some time listening. I've thought a lot about this verse a lot. I used to think of it in terms of just God's heart on adoption. But the more I think about Maisie, the more I realize how God is speaking directly to me in this verse.

I think about how much Maisie has seen. How many times she has changed homes. How many times she's started a new school, left a school, moved to a group home, left a group home, and now live in a permanent home. I can't imagine that she's had a life that has never included sleep overs, a best friend who spends the night, the same school for more than a year. More than those things she hasn't had parents who love her just because she is Maisie. She hasn't had people she could go to and just cry, laugh, play with, or live with. I can't imagine. She really has been an orphan. I know God is using us to keep her from being and earthly orphan.

But, aren't we all orphans? At one point in all of our lives, haven't we been separated from God? I know for myself, I have. I know that because of my choices to be selfish, stubborn, and just rebelious, I've kept myself from the blessings God desires for me. But reading that verse reminds me of his promise to come to me. How awesome is that?

So, as I tucked my girl into bed for the first time as my daughter, for forever, I realize she's not an orphan, and praise God, neither am I!

Almost Home

In six days I will be a mother. SIX DAYS! The day that we've prayed for, hoped for, and dreamed about is coming in less than a week! I can hardly believe it! Six months ago, all of this was a mere dream, a topic of conversation, a daily thought.

I imagine my growing sense of anticipation is equal to that of a mother waiting to meet the person who has caused her belly to swell for months on end. I imagine that anticipation is also met with the deep down fear of the unknown. The fear that life as you know it is about to change. The fear that somehow, you will mess this person up beyond repair. The fear that when they are old enough to think for themselves, they will think you are the most embarassing mother alive.

My concerns run in different directions with every thought. I am very excited for Maisie to join our family. I am so happy for her to have a family. I am so scared that we won't be able to provide for her the way I want to. I'm scared she won't make friends at school. I'm worried she'll have a hard time adjusting. I'm just a mess all over on the inside! My brain is constantly running about her.

So, I imagine that in the next 6 days, I'll fret. I'll fold her clothes and ready them for her to come home. I'll make her bed and arrange then rearrange her pillows and stuffed animals. I'll fret some more. Hopefully, the next 6 days will fly by. I'm thinking that's nearly impossible!

A few of my favorites

Some of my favorites of our sweet boy. This first one, is a classic. As much as he loved being inside, he loved DIGGING! You can tell by that dirty little face!

Christmas 2009. Couldn't ask for a sweeter picture!
The three of us Christmas 2009

This is a more recent picture. Sweet boy.

This is the last picture I took of Romeo & Robert. He loved for us to get in the floor with him and just rub his belly. Robert always made time for him.

When there was no baby...

When there was no baby, this was our baby. We had Romeo for almost 7 years. He was super playful, always loyal, and incredibly smart. He loved french fries more than any other food. His mouth would water and huge spit bubbles would puddle around the corner of his mouth at the mere mention of french fries. Last weekend, we took him back to Kosciusko with us to work on our old house. We didn't bring enough food for the weekend, so while I was getting me and Robert some dinner, I went ahead and ordered him a hamburger and french fries for himself. Spoiled. Rotten.

He's seen us through a move from Florence to Kosciusko, then from Kosciusko to Cleveland. He was there when we lost our baby, when we had all the youth at our house week in and week out, he was always so excited to see us as soon as we got home, even if we'd only been gone to the grocery store or out to eat dinner.

He would pace in front of the door if Robert worked late or if he was out of town. He really missed Robert when he was gone. He and Robert walked every day. You couldn't even say the word "walk" with him in the room, or you would suddenly be met with a 90lb dog in your lap ready to do just that!

The choice to have him put to sleep was horrendous. In the past months, he has battled arthritis in one of his legs. He could barely get on the couch, much less in the bed. Using the bathroom was even harder for him. Along with hurting, he became very aggressive. In general, he was always very playful and docile, but in the past 2 months, you could tell that he was just not himself. He still loved to go walking, but it took all he had to just do that. We were picking him up almost every night to put him in the bed. He slept most of the day. The hardest choice was to recognize that his quality of life was not good. If we let him continue to live the way he was, he would hurt more, be more aggressive, and less like the happy, sweet Romeo we knew.

We loved him very much. The thought of him not being here to snuggle with, to play with, to pet, and to just be with is sad. But those are all selfish reasons to continue to let him suffer. Our baby is now resting. He doesn't hurt, he doesn't limp. Our hearts our broken and will be for a while, but we are so thankful for the time we had him.