Debt Free in 2010

So, Robert and I have talked and prayed alot about getting out of debt. When we first married, we did Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace. I was not a huge fan of cutting up my brand new credit card, but I did. We have used some of the basic ideas from Dave Ramsey but have not really followed it exactly.

When we started the adoption process, I knew that I did not want to work when we got our children. I just couldn't imagine having to leave them everyday. I also knew this would require sacrifice in some area, I just wasn't ready to admit it. This summer I got my bus license to help out with some expenses. My thought was that I would "double up" on my car note and pay it off in 12 months instead of 2 years. This sounded like a great idea, but something "always came up" when that extra money came in each month. It is alot harder to put it into practice.

Two weeks ago, I decided I would try to sell my car to help out and not have a car note. I listed in the Tradewinds and boy, God works quick. We sold it in 3 days for the full pay off. I was shocked and a little heart broken. Robert and I have been sharing one vehicle for about a week, until today!

Back to Dave Ramsey. Robert used to say that we would pay cash for our next car and I would just chuckle! That is so impossible. Or so I thought! We paid cash for a vehicle today! Is it new? No. Is it pretty, Heck no! Is it gonna last forever, NOPE! But, it cranks, it runs, it doesn't smoke, and it will get my husband from work to home and back!

I was thinking today after we picked up "Big Bertha" (that's the car's name) that God is so good. He works in such crazy, wonderful, God ways! A girl at church told me tonight, "Sister, you may not have died to self just yet. But I think you are getting sick to self!" What a blessing! I want so bad to die to me and my wants, because I so mess it up! I was thinking of this praise chorus as I typed this. Be blessed!

"God is so good. God is so good. God is so good, He's so good to me."

Who's the Enemy?

Today, our preacher made a comment that really hit home to me. Our battle is not with people. Our battle is with the devil. I find it so easy to be mad at the person who hurts my husband or my family. But not very often do I truly sit and realize that the battle is not with that person. The battle is with the one who is using that person and his name is Satan.

I think a lot of our own personal issues with each other would be cleared up so quickly if we just took a step back before jumping to conclusions, and realized that people aren't the problem. It is the devil. Saying his name makes me cringe, but I so often let him trick me into thinking people are evil. How blinded we have become in not seeing his tricks.

Maybe, just maybe, we have allowed ourselves to be blinded so much by the "little" sins in our lives that we have forgotten that an itty bitty foothold gives the devil a whole playing field in our lives. That one compromise, one choice that didn't include Jesus, one slip of the tongue, one second glance at what we shouldn't be glancing at, or one stumble gives the devil an open door into those tiny places in our hearts.

So, the next time we find ourselves irritated at our neighbor, angry at a family member, frustrated with our children or spouse, or just plain ole mad, remember, the fight isn't with the other person. It is with the devil himself!

Have you ever?

Have you ever been so excited about something you could just cry? We went today for our first of two training classes, and on the way there, I was so anxious about the class that I thought I might would just cry before we got there! The days seem to drag on as I begin to think about what their little faces will look like, how they will feel about us, and how old they will be. I just can not wait to see them. Really, I can't.

In the short time I was pregnant, I was ready for it to be over with. I was so ready for the baby to be here and to just hold it and know that it was ok. Of course, God had a different plan for my baby, and now I am experiencing that "wait" just not in the exact way. I don't feel the baby kick, but I do feel my heart leap when I think of the children that will soon share my life. I'm not gathering baby bed linens, but decorating twin beds for hopefully two little ones to share!

I don't know if I will ever know the feeling of a child growing in my stomach, but I do know the feeling of the love for a child growing in my heart.

The Waiting Revolution

After we pray, what do we do? I know what I do. I begin to think of all the ways I can "fix" the problems I just gave to God. I begin to wonder and worry about when and how God is going to handle my situation. This is obviously so not what God desires from us. This weekend we had our DNow and the speaker was a man named Moses Ceasar. He has written a book about waiting after prayer and what it is we should be doing. I was so convicted about how I "wait" after I pray. I really don't wait. I give it to God in that shallow, selfish, fix it now attitude. But there is growth in the waiting. God is developing our character when we wait on him. I am so impatient when it comes to waiting. I begin to look at the things other people have and the blessings they are enjoying while I'm still "waiting" on God to answer my prayer. Through this weekend I've learned that the waiting is our time to worship God. So, as I wait, I'm gonna choose to remember Isaiah 40:31 "Those that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength. They will mount up with wings as eagles. They will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not faint".
Just a few pictures from the weekend. This is our youth group and small group leaders we took with us for the weekend.

Almost There

Well, this Saturday, Robert and I are going to our first of two training classes for our adoption. I'm not sure what we are being "trained" on but I'm sure it has to do with how to be prepared for our next step which is welcoming children into our home.

I am so excited, there seems to be no words to really do it justice. I can't imagine Robert and I with kids of our own. It has been just the two of us for so long now, but I am so ready. I can scarcely believe we are really doing this. That God really is allowing us to be a part of this great gift. The more I think about the possibilities to come, the more excited I get.

Now granted, there are so many time that I question is this really what God wants. I worry that we won't have the finances, or the kids won't like us, or we are just rushing this, or something has to go wrong because this has really been a smooth process. I could worry myself sick about what could or couldn't happen. That is usually how I am, but God has given me such a peace about this. A peace that I know only comes from Him.

"Seek ye first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, then all these things will be added unto you."

Dear Lord,

It's the new year. I have spent the last few days reflecting on my relationship with you and I have realized that I have been so content in making you my Sunday and Wednesday Jesus. What a pity that I have missed out on growing closer to you because I am so selfish. I make such a mess of things and really I need you more than I need my next breath! God, help me this year to see things and people the way you see them. Help me to know that it doesn't always have to be my way, and that saying "I'm sorry" doesn't always mean you are weak. God, help me to mend bridges with those I have hurt in the past year and years. Show me Lord when I need to listen and when I need to speak gently. God, I need a fresh start. Thank you for being so patient. Thank you for being a loving father who always offers his wayward children grace. Help me extend that grace to other people. Lord, I love you.. Thank you for your precious son Jesus. Amen

Damaged?

What makes something "damaged"? Is it a tear on a package? Is it a broken piece on a toy that seems beyond repair? Is it a heart that has been broken and not yet mended? Can it be a child who is defenseless against the circumstances it was born into?

I was having a discussion with someone and she used the word "damaged" to describe the children that Robert and I will be soon getting. Oh, how the slip of the tongue can cut deep to the heart. I continued on in the conversation revealing to her that maybe damaged is not the term to use when describing children of any situation. I can not tell you how that one word hurt me. I looked up the definition of the word "damaged" and this is what I found "someone or something considered to be flawed or spoiled in character, efficiency or worth."

How really can you ever call someone else damaged? Aren't we all a little flawed in some way? I know that we are all born sinners. We are all born into a sinful nature, so just by our nature we are damaged. Oh, praise God, that he sent a perfect son to die for us all. Thankfully, damaged doesn't have to be my label anymore.