Eleven Already?

She'll be grown before we know it, out of the house before we're ready!

Maisie turns eleven this Thursday! I can hardly believe it! She had just turned 10 a few months before we first met her. It's hard to believe that has been 10 months ago. Ten months of knowing this girl is such a treasure.

Everyday we learn more and more about her. She has the cutest personality. She has a great sense of humor. Even on the days when I think she & I may not make it one more minute together, I still stop and think that she is such a blessing.

Her party is this weekend, and I think I am more excited than she is! I have all the decorations ready, the goody bags started, and the pinata almost stuffed! I'm looking forward to our families and friends gathering to share in this special day!

Six months

"Am I adopted yet?"

Maisie has asked us this several times. She knows we are in the process of adopting her and that in theory, the adoption process is supposed to only take six months. Today is our sixth month. Is our adoption final, nope.

Obviously, we are on other people's time line. We have to wait for one agency to work on paperwork and send it to another agency. We have to wait on the government to do their part (whatever that really requires). We are just in a waiting game. We'll just keep waiting.

I can give you some "time lines" and "milestones" we've had in the first six months.

- Maisie asked Jesus in her heart about a month ago. Precious moment really.

- When she gets upset, she asks for Robert. This is a GREAT development. When we first got her, she would go to her room when Robert came home from work and ignore him. It was miserable for the both of us. He started spending time with her one on one, and before we knew it, she looked forward to him coming home.

-She's learned to swim. I know this is kind of trivial, but it was very exciting for all of us! She could sort of swim, but she is a little fish now! I'm so proud of her!

- She wrecked our van! Haha! For real, one Wednesday night I let her drive around the parking lot at church (no big deal). Well, we got around to the side where Robert was waiting for us. I asked her if she wanted to practice parking. She said sure. Well, she got the gas and break confused, jumped the cement parking block, and got my van stuck. Hilarious. She was so scared, she jumped out of the car without putting it in park (it was stuck anyway) and took off running to the middle of the parking lot crying. I felt awful for her, but it was so funny.

- She has a TEMPER! I've learned that when she is annoyed, just leave her alone. I used to follow her to her room and demand an answer to why she was being so ill. I've realized that does NOTHING but make it worse! So, I just give her some space, and she usually comes out acting a lot better!

- We are learning to have fun just being a family. We went on our first vacation this past weekend. We got to meet her older sister Mya who is living with a foster family in Ocean Springs. She is a precious girl. They seemed to have a great time together. While we were on vacation, Maisie and Robert spent a lot of time in the water (well, when it wasn't raining). I love the bond the two of them are building. She just kept saying "Thank yall for taking me on vacation." So sweet.

So, in six months, through the struggles, we've become a family. I love this girl so much, and I'm so glad we are her people!

The Truth

The truth....

I often read blogs about other families who have adopted and think "Gosh, they have it all together. Things are easy for them and their kids just love them." I've been measuring our success as an adopted family by the seemingly success of other families in our situation.

We've had Maisie for almost 6 months, and I'd love to report that things are fantastic. That she gets up every morning and every day is like a dream. I'd love to tell you that we don't have fall out, meltdown, door slamming, fussing matches. I'd like to say that she does exactly what we tell her, when we tell her. I'd love to tell you that she doesn't still struggle with feeling abandoned, alone, confused, and all the other things that come along with being a child who has spent the last 6 years of her life in and out of 30 foster care/hospital facilities. I'd love to live to you, but really, what would be the point?

So, I'm going to give you the truth about adoption. It is hard. There are days when I really think we've made a mistake. We've done the wrong thing for us and for her. Days when I imagine that she probably hates waking up in our house to her new reality. Days when I am certain I could get in my car and drive off and never come back. Raising a child with a lifetime of hurt, anger, abuse, and trauma is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

There is also another truth to adoption. It is the most rewarding thing I'll ever do with my life. I am by no means perfect. Not even close. I mess up with Maisie on a daily basis. I say the wrong thing, ask too many questions, assume too much, and take too many things personally. But, on the days when she is honest with us. When she really opens up and I see the reality of her situation, I realize she has been hurt far more than I can ever understand. She has so much potential, and I know that she is so special, and I am so blessed to be a part of her life.