The Truth

The truth....

I often read blogs about other families who have adopted and think "Gosh, they have it all together. Things are easy for them and their kids just love them." I've been measuring our success as an adopted family by the seemingly success of other families in our situation.

We've had Maisie for almost 6 months, and I'd love to report that things are fantastic. That she gets up every morning and every day is like a dream. I'd love to tell you that we don't have fall out, meltdown, door slamming, fussing matches. I'd like to say that she does exactly what we tell her, when we tell her. I'd love to tell you that she doesn't still struggle with feeling abandoned, alone, confused, and all the other things that come along with being a child who has spent the last 6 years of her life in and out of 30 foster care/hospital facilities. I'd love to live to you, but really, what would be the point?

So, I'm going to give you the truth about adoption. It is hard. There are days when I really think we've made a mistake. We've done the wrong thing for us and for her. Days when I imagine that she probably hates waking up in our house to her new reality. Days when I am certain I could get in my car and drive off and never come back. Raising a child with a lifetime of hurt, anger, abuse, and trauma is the most difficult thing I've ever done.

There is also another truth to adoption. It is the most rewarding thing I'll ever do with my life. I am by no means perfect. Not even close. I mess up with Maisie on a daily basis. I say the wrong thing, ask too many questions, assume too much, and take too many things personally. But, on the days when she is honest with us. When she really opens up and I see the reality of her situation, I realize she has been hurt far more than I can ever understand. She has so much potential, and I know that she is so special, and I am so blessed to be a part of her life.