Tuesday, November 1, 2011

Why we chose

Some of you know our story, and some don't. If you've already heard it, now's your chance to click away to something more exciting! : )



It's amazing to look back and see how God worked so greatly in our lives to lead us to this point. It was so hard to see his hand at work sometimes. Mostly because I was too wrapped up in what was and wasn't fair to me.  Now, looking back, I wouldn't change our path for anything. 

In 2002, I married the sweetest, most loving man ever.  I really don't know how else to describe Robert.  He is truly a man after God's heart. Of course, after being married for a year or so, I really wanted us to have babies.  I was 19 when we got married, and always wanted to be a young mother.  I planned (big emphasis on I) for us to have four children before I was 30.  I always thought adoption would be good too.  I love Asian children and really wanted a pretty olive skined baby to add to my brood. 

Well, as the first year of trying went on with no success, I assumed we would just keep trying.  The next year came with no baby and I began to worry.  I am a worrier by nature, so of course I was beyond hysterical at moments.  My doctor suggested some fertility medicine.  After several months of those, I was still not pregnant. He then suggested we see a fertility specialist.  Robert and I prayed about it and decided we would just wait a little longer. 

Those were the hardest years.  I was so angry at God.  I could not understand why we couldn't just have a baby.  It seemed so simple for everyone else.  In one year, my best friend, my sister, my sister in law, and my husband's best friends wife all had children.  Talk about tough. 

After another year of waiting it out, we finally went to the fertility doctor.  I was put on medicine and in the sixth month of trying that out, I became pregnant. It was magical.  I was beyond excited.  The prayer had been answered.  Unfortunately, I miscarried at 10 weeks. Devastated wouldn't begin to describe my state at the time. I'd been married 5 years and was 25 years old. Why couldn't I just be like everyone else? 

Adoption always was an option for us.  After the miscarriage, I began to obsess about adopting. I thought, "Well, if I can't birth it, I can pick it!".  My initial desire for adoption was purely selfish. I had very specific requirements.  I wanted a baby, preferably Asian, no older than 18 months. I wanted a boy because girls are too high maintenance. I also wanted this baby to be cheaper than the rest of the babies because frankly, I didn't see how we could afford it.  Never once did I give any thought to what God may have for us.

Then, I read a book that changed my outlook on adoption. Its called "Adopted For Life: The Priority of Adoption in the Church." Talk about conviction, breaking of the heart, and opening the eyes. I knew adoption could be an option for us, but I never thought of it as a biblical principle. I began to see that adoption was more about being in God's will and doing his work than just growing a family.  God began to work in my heart. I began researching all types of adoption. From babies to teenagers. 

The next year, Robert and I began our paperwork process for adoption. After much praying and research, our hearts were drawn to older children.  The reality is that past a certain age, nobody wants them.  Nobody wants the kid that is 7 years old who has been in foster homes and facilities.  Nobody wants a group of siblings that are not that cute baby stage any more.  Those were the exact kids God was calling us to. 

Here we are now, with our 11 year old GIRL who is almost legally adopted.  We chose this because we wanted to grow our family. We chose this because Maisie needs us as much as we need her.  Most of all, we chose this because Christ chose us. 


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